Hypnosis to build Confidence and Self Esteem
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are fantastic tools to help build confidence and self esteem and to stop anxiety, shyness and self consciousness. There are also a number of other things, including written exercises, you can do to help build your self esteem and confidence. These are set out below.
Good self esteem allows you to be confident about your views, to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, and cushions you against the disappointments that life sometimes holds. People with good self esteem are resilient; they see difficulties and problems in proportion, confident of their own abilities and their decision making, accepting that inevitably things sometimes go wrong – but that does not mean it is their fault. They accept that life has its difficulties, so when difficulties do arise, they are not thrown off guard. Having confidence and good self esteem means that you are less likely to bow to pressure, or to try and fit in with others, or be like them – because you know who YOU are, and what YOU stand for. You view yourself in a positive light and rely on your own judgements and opinions, not other people’s.
Good self esteem helps you cope with life’s ups and downs
Good self esteem cushions you against the disappointments that life sometimes holds. People with good self esteem are resilient; they see difficulties and problems in proportion, knowing that they are confident of their own abilities and their decision making, accepting that of course things sometimes go wrong – but that does not mean it is their fault. Having good self esteem means that you are less likely to bow to pressure; you are less likely to experience anxiety about what others think of you.
Low self esteem leads to stress and anxiety
If you have low self esteem you are far more likely to be very sensitive to criticism, perhaps avoiding certain social or professional situations. You may find it difficult to be assertive because you worry about what others will think of you if you say what you think. You may fear rejection, or ridicule, and while no-one likes to be rejected, a person with good self esteem is far more able to accept that it’s impossible to please everyone; that NO-ONE is liked by everyone, all of the time. Try this – ask a group of 4 or 5 friends of the same sex which celebrity they think is attractive – it is extremely rare that they will all agree – and even if they do, you can be absolutely certain that if you asked just two more people, at least one of them would have a different view! Or think of a popular person you know – there will always be somebody who will say “Well, personally, I don’t like him”. Think about the music you love. You wouldn’t have to go very far to find someone else who really can’t stand it. Because everyone is different, we all have different likes and dislikes. So if someone doesn’t get on with you, or doesn’t agree with you, it’s due to their own individual tastes and preferences – not because there is a problem with you. Those with good self esteem know this – but if you lack self esteem, you may worry that it is your fault; that you are not good enough, that you need to change, that there’s something wrong with what you’ve said or done.
Build self esteem by looking at the positives
We’re all far more used to turning our attention to the more negative aspects of our lives and ourselves. This is because there’s a sense, somehow, that the negative stuff needs our attention; we need to work on it, to fix it, to improve. The stuff we’re already good at is easier to ignore! If you have an appraisal at work, which is great except you’re told you’re a bit disorganized – it’s the bit about being disorganized which sticks in your mind – because its only that which you need to do something about. If someone tells you your outfit looks good, except the shoes, it’s the shoes that you think about, because they’re what you need to do something about. You forget about generally being good at your job, or that your clothes look great – because these things are already OK. They don’t need attention. You take for granted those things which are already OK, and pay more attention to those which aren’t quite right. It’s therefore a very useful exercise to really bring to the forefront of your attention all those many positive things which are there, but which you don’t necessarily think about or readily acknowledge. Not thinking about your positive attributes is really just habit, but its not a helpful or useful habit, so it may be good for a while to really consciously make yourself pay attention to your qualities and what makes you special – until you get to the point where you are aware of the positives without having to consciously turn your attention to them. They become second nature to you. This exercise will really help you to build self esteem – to recognise what it is about you which makes you the person you are; what makes you tick; what’s special about you. This way your self esteem cannot help but increase.
Self Esteem Exercises
Please therefore make a written list of the following:
Your strengths; what it is that stands out about you – perhaps your friendliness, your persistence, your spirituality, your sense of fun, your sympathetic nature, your patience, your practicality, your sense of humour, your intellectual abilities, your kindness. Try and list at least five;
Five things you admire about yourself – for example, your ability to enjoy relationships, aspects of your appearance, your creativity, your sense of humour, your kindness, your unselfishness, your practical skills, your pleasant nature – whatever YOU think the best things about you are;
The greatest achievements of your life; these can such things as overcoming a difficulty or an illness, passing an exam or getting a new job, building a relationship, getting fit, learning a new skill, or dealing well with a difficult situation or individual. List at least five;
Twenty things which you know how to do, well, but which you had to learn. The chances are that you now take these abilities for granted; because you are now skilled at them, and do them frequently, they seem easy to you; but this wasn’t always the case. Don’t take your accomplishments for granted! Think of learning to drive, or ride a bike, or to cook, or how to programme the DVD recorder or download something from the internet, making a new friend of someone you always wanted to get to know, passing an exam – these things may seem like nothing now, but you worked towards them and achieved them, and shouldn’t forget this;
Ten ways in which you can reward yourself – these should not be about buying anything, or be food or drink based, and ideally should not cost you anything – walking by the sea, listening to a piece of music that you love or which has strong memories for you, window shopping, lying in the sun, watching the rain, watching your pets, looking at beautiful flowers or trees, re-establishing contact with an old friend, or just spending fifteen minutes all to yourself, quiety, doing nothing;
Ten things which make you laugh
Ten things you do which are helpful to others
Ten things which make you feel good about yourself – this might be chatting on the phone to a friend or family member, exercising, listening to your favourite music, taking a bath, even styling your hair, making sure you eat healthily, dancing around (like no-one is watching of course) to a great piece of music, or getting round to that de-cluttering you’ve been meaning to do for the last six months;
Your favourite activities. Make time to do these.
Finally, write down what it is about you that makes you the individual you are – what it is that makes you special, different, unique.
You can re-write the lists you make whenever you want, and should keep adding to them, at any time, when more things occur to you. You should re-read them frequently in order for the positive thoughts to establish themselves – so that you no longer have to really think about remembering them – they’re just there, embedded in your subconscious. If you like, you can keep a journal with these ideas in.
Another exercise is to ask those closest to you – your partner, your closest friends, parents or siblings, colleagues what they like about you. Don’t argue with what they say! Just accept it. Write it down. Re-read it frequently.
You can also list the compliments that you’ve been given over the years. It’s funny how we take criticism at face value (“it must mean I am doing something wrong”) but assume others compliment us just to make us feel better, or because they are being kind. Remind yourself of the compliments you’ve received. You will see a pattern in them. It’s not coincidence – it’s because they’re true.
When you find yourself being self-critical, remind yourself of all the positive things on the list.
Hypnotherapy in Stockport
Pam Newbury and a team of fully registered, qualified and insured hypnotherapists practice 6 days a week at this Stockport hypnotherapy clinic. They have 15 years of experience, using hypnosis, hypnotherapy, relaxation techniques and teaching self hypnosis to help self esteem and boost confidence. anxiety and OCD. If you want to find a hypnotherapist in south Manchester to help stress at work, stress and anxiety, phobia, panic attacks, emotional problems such as jealousy or insecurity, or low self esteem, then go to any of the independent websites which list and give reviews of hypnotherapists (for example www.freeindex.co.uk – Google also displays reviews) and you will see the excellent results which Pam and her team have achieved. If you would like further information about hypnosis in Stockport, for insomnia, to build confidence, depression, for help with weight loss, to break bad habits, help tinnitus or for any other problem, please call 07779 575 816 for a free, no obligation, confidential discussion.
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy in Didsbury, Manchester – convenient for Chorlton, Gatley, Cheadle, Stockport and all areas of south and central Manchester.