Fear of Public Speaking, Shyness, Stage Fright, and Interview Nerves
Shyness and fear of public speaking are very common, as is being nervous about meeting new people. They are really the same fear. Fear of public speaking appears in every list of the top ten most common phobias. It is also known as stage fright or performance anxiety. The first mistake people make is to believe that public speaking, or meeting new people, is itself stressful – but that really can’t be the case – if it were, then everyone would have it! There’d be no exceptions. But many people don’t, so it must mean that something else is going on. It’s the way that you think about public speaking or meeting new people – what you tell yourself about it – which makes it seem stressful. So what is it that you are thinking when you worry about speaking in public or meeting someone new? For most people it is not really a fear of public speaking, or meeting strangers itself, but is about making a mistake, fear of your audience being as critical of your performance as you are, fear of doing something embarassing, forgetting what to say, fear of being judged, fear of being asked a question you cannot answer, stuttering or stumbling over your words, fear of blushing, or a fear of not being approved of or liked. It’s really all about worrying what others think of you. Fear of public speaking is rooted in shyness and self consciousness – so that rather than just speaking normally and confidently, as you do when you are relaxed and comfortable, you are instead overly aware of what others are thinking and of how you are coming accross. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis work incredibly well to help you overcome your fear of public speaking and to help shyness generally. Even those people who don’t normally suffer with shyness or self consciousness can feel daunted at the thought of public speaking or going to an interview. Hypnosis builds confidence so that you feel comfortable in ANY situation.
How phobias and social anxiety can start
Just because something has been difficult in the past doesn’t mean it needs to be difficult in the future.
Sometimes meeting people or a fear of public speaking becomes a phobia because you’ve suffered stress, embarrassment and anxiety in the past when you’ve had to meet people or make a speech. You now feel that you can’t think of an interview, or speaking in public, or meeting someone new, without having the feeling of anxiety which goes along with it. You might be consciously aware of this, or it might be going on at a subconscious level. But it’s irrational to believe that, just because you’ve suffered shyness, embarrassment, or anxiety in a past situation, you’re bound to feel the same every time something similar happens. Imagine you bumped your car yesterday, and that just before it happened, a certain song came on the radio. It doesn’t mean that every time you hear that song you will bump your car!
How hypnosis helps fear of public speaking and interviews
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy help you to forget to remember to feel stress and anxiety. When you are very deeply relaxed in hypnosis, you’ll be asked to imagine speaking in public, meeting new people, being in an interview, or on the phone to a difficult client. Because you are completely relaxed when you think about these things, you can think about them without without the associated feeling of anxiety, self consciousness or shyness. This lets you deal with those situations when they really happen without those unpleasant feelings, because you no longer make that automatic association between the situation and the feeling of anxiety, shyness and embarrassment.
Fear of public speaking is related to anxiety
For some people it is not about a particular past event or events but because they are generally anxious,stressed and worried. If you are anxious, you are overly aware of others’ reactions, and very sensitive to the possibility of things going wrong. Stockport hypnotherapy clinic can help you get rid of the shyness and anxiety you may have experienced from previous social occasions, public speaking, interviews or performances in order to ensure that your past experiences do not effect your future performance. We can help you gain confidence and develop positive ways to think about feeling confident with people, whether its meeting someone new or making a speech. We can show you how to remain calm and relaxed and teach you some really fantastic techniques for allowing you to remain relaxed and just talk to people – whether it’s at a party, in a bar, at work, a job interview, or speaking at a wedding or other special occasion – to the very best of your ability.
Tips to help with meeting people, stage fright and fear of public speaking
1. Remember that meeting people or speaking in public – or attending that interview, or making that difficult phone call – is NOT in itself stressful – it’s just the things you tell yourself about public speaking and those other situations that makes it seem stressful!
2. You don’t have to be perfect or absolutely brilliant – no-one is. You are allowed mistakes and stumbles – you will notice these far more than anyone else. If you do make a mistake, you can just laugh it off. You can even admit to feeling nervous – people will warm to you. Humility and the ability to laugh at yourself allow people to see you as human and likeable. We’ve all been around people who will never admit to making a mistake – and they’re not easy company!
3. You don’t have to try and be like someone else – because doing this is very difficult. Just be yourself – because this is very easy!
4. It’s impossible to please everyone – there are too many different points of view in the world. Don’t try and do this – be true to yourself. Assertiveness training can help with this.
5. You can’t – and don’t need – to control the behaviour of the people listening to you – if they want to talk, or eat, or drink, or listen to their iPods – that’s about them, not about you.
6 The more you think about it, the more difficult it gets. Just relax and feel comfortable. You speak every day – without ever having to really think about it – and you don’t make mistakes, or if you do, you just move on to the next thing. It is anxiety that makes public speaking, interviews and presentations seem difficult. Just relax and the anxiety will fade away. Hypnosis teaches you to do this.
Phobias and shyness stop you from living your life to the full
Even some people who are otherwise calm, relaxed and in control can find it difficult to have to get up and speak to a group of people, especially on an important occasion such as a wedding, or if it makes a difference to whether or not you get a promotion or a new job. Woody Allen and Adele have both talked about being physically sick before going on stage – for more information on feeling or being sick, or rushing to the loo when nervous, look at the page on panic and anxiety attacks) – this explains why you get the physical symptoms you do when you are anxious. Aretha Franklin and Meryl Streep all suffer badly with performance anxiety, as did Lawrence Olivier, despite being amongst the most successful and respected performers in the world. Aretha Franklin also has such a severe fear of flying that she refused to sing in front of the Queen, because she was to terrified to fly. Phobias really get in the way of living life! There is no need to live with a fear or phobia of speaking or performing. Hypnosis will help you get rid of your shyness and fears of public speaking and to feel altogether more relaxed, confident and comfortable.
Hypnosis for public speaking and shyness in Stockport
The therapists at this Stockport hypnotherapy clinic are Manchester’s top independently rated therapists in anxiety, insomnia and phobia treatment. If you are looking for hypnotherapists in Stockport to help stress and anxiety, claustrophobia, fear of flying, emotional problems such as jealousy and insecurity, panic attacks, or low self esteem, then go to any of the independent websites which list and give reviews of hypnotherapists (for example www.freeindex.co.uk – you can also see reviews on Google) and see what others say about us. If you would like further information about hypnosis in Stockport, for insomnia, to stop smoking, self esteem and confidence, depression, for help with weight loss, to stop bad habits such as nail biting or teeth grinding, or for any other problem, please call 07779 575 816 for a free, no obligation, confidential discussion.
Stockport Hypnotherapy – convenient for Gatley, Cheadle, Stockport, Hazel Grove, Macclesfield, Bramhall, Marple, Droylsden, Denton, Altrincham, Hale and all areas of south and central Manchester. Click here for further details of how to find us.