What is Assertiveness?
There are many different ways to describe assertiveness. Some people think that assertiveness means being aggressive, but assertiveness and aggression are in fact very different. Being asssertive means having the self confidence to make decisions, both big and small – about career, relationships, money, your lifestyle; being able to start conversations or organize things; trusting your own judgement; setting goals and working towards them; saying no when you simply don’t have the time, energy or money to do what’s been asked – and also when you just don’t want to; asking for help when you need it, without being embarassed; being comfortable and confident in social situations, with people you already know and with new peole. Assertiveness is about the ability to stand your own ground, to say what you think, to say no, to respond to criticism, and to express your own opinions – without anxiety, embarrassment,shyness or self consciousness.
Being assertive means being positive about yourself without putting anyone else down. Assertiveness means valuing yourself AND other people.
Why do I need Assertiveness Training? I’m never afraid to say what I think
Everyone can learn something to help them communicate more effectively. It’s not just quiet, unassuming people that benefit from assertiveness training. Some individuals have no problem in saying what they want or stating their opinions – but this is very different from their actually achieving their goal. When people talk about someone being “too assertive” what they often mean is aggressive. Assertiveness means communicating effectively, saying what you mean, but confidently, calmly and with sensitivity. For some people who “always say what they think”, this means getting angry or irritated, and because of this failing to get their message across. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy teach you to remain calm and in control whilst saying what you think, and allows you to build your self confidence and self esteem.
Assertiveness training is designed to help you think more positively, feel more comfortable, and speak more confidently and effectively when dealing with others. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy give you to the tools to increase self confidence and self esteem and to reduce anxiety about any sort of social situation.
Hypnosis for self confidence, self esteem and better communication skills
Assertiveness is an important component in increasing self-confidence and improving the ability to deal with a wide variety of situations. It can be described as a middle way of dealing with difficult situations or disagreements – it is neither passive, nor aggressive, but lies somewhere in the middle. Everyone benefits when their communication skills are improved, but this is particularly so if you are anxious – whether you have social anxiety – shyness – or because you are worried about the consequences of saying what you think or standing up for what you believe in. When faced with a situation which requires you to express yourself, if you lack self confidence you may feel inhibited. You may be reluctant to say what you think for fear of seeming difficult, or due to uncertainty or anxiety about upsetting someone or making them angry. Or perhaps you aren’t anxious, but simply feel that you don’t have the ability to express yourself in the way you want to. You don’t know what to say. You may fear becoming angry or upset. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy teach you to remain calm and in control whilst expressing your views and your requirements. There are tried and tested ways of putting views forward which are less likely to result in the situation deteriorating, and more likely to result in the outcome you hope for.
How do I go about being more assertive?
The basic model of assertiveness has three steps:
1. Calmly listen and acknowledge the other person’s point of view.
2. State how this makes you feel. Try to do so by using “I think that…” or “I feel that…” rather than “You have made me feel…” etc – sentences beginning with “you” in this sort of context tend to come across as accusatory or defensive, increasing the likelihood that confrontation will arise. Again, remain calm and controlled whilst communicating this.
3. Set out what you would like to happen and what the consequences will be if this result is not achieved.
WIth a bit of practice, this soon becomes second nature, although may seem a little cumbersome at first. Once you have become used to the basic steps, there are other assertiveness techniques which you can use – such as the “broken record” technique, where you simply repeat your point, not becoming angry or irritated, but not backing down. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy enable you to feel calm whilst stating your case – the fear of being unable to do this is what stops many people from trying to express their views, either because they fear losing their temper or because they feel they will be inarticulate. Remaining calm also enables you to repeatedly state your case and hold your ground in the face of opposition, rather than the situation escalating into a row. It also helps you to appear confident and in control of the situation.
“The Assertiveness Bill of Rights”
It’s useful to remember that it is ok for you to :
say “I don’t know” or “I don’t understand”
say “I don’t care”
say that someone else’s viewpoint is not relevant, or unimportant
NOT be responsible for the mistakes and problems of others
express a view different from that which you’ve expressed before – in other words it’s alright to change your mind.
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy increase confidence, build self esteem and take away the anxiety and stress from saying what you want to in difficult situations.
Hypnotherapy Services in south Manchester
The therapists at this Stockport hypnotherapy clinic are Manchester’s top independently rated therapists in anxiety and phobia treatment. If you are looking for hypnotherapists in south Manchester to help assertiveness, reduce stress and anxiety, claustrophobia, emotional problems such as jealousy and insecurity, panic attacks, or low self esteem, then go to any of the independent websites which list and give reviews of hypnotherapists (for example www.freeindex.co.uk – you can also see reviews on Google) and see what others say about us. If you would like further information about phobia treatment or hypnosis in Stockport, for insomnia, to stop smoking, self esteem and confidence, depression, for help with weight loss, to nail biting, teeth grinding, or for any other problem, please call 07779 575 816 for a free, no obligation, confidential discussion.
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy in Didsbury, Manchester – convenient for Chorlton, Gatley, Cheadle, Stockport, Altrincham, Hale and all areas of south and central Manchester. Click here for further details ofhow to find us.