What is Confidence?
Confidence means saying what you want to say, going where you want to go and doing what you want to do without unnecessary anxiety, self-consciousness, worrying and uncertainty. If you lack confidence it’s difficult to just go ahead and do things – instead you worry about them first. What if it goes wrong? What if I say the wrong thing? What if there’s a big crowd? What if I need the loo? What if I have a panic attack?What if people don’t approve? What if I feel sick/can’t get home/look silly/don’t know anyone there/blush/make a mistake? The list of possible “what if“s and worries is endless!
Good Self Esteem
But if you have confidence and good self esteem, you can do new things, make decisions, meet people, and trust your own judgements; you have a healthy, realistic and positive opinion of yourself. You feel comfortable about how and where you fit into the world. Confidence means being aware of your own abilities; it means you can stand up for what you believe in when others don’t agree with you. When you have confidence you know what it is about you that makes you unique, important, of value. Good self esteem means you find it easy to be assertive – to say what you feel and think without embarassment or fear of upsetting other people.
What is Low Self Esteem?
If you suffer with low self esteem, you may often put yourself down, feeling unable to stand your ground, and are more likely to suffer from stress, anxiety and worry. Low self esteem sometimes means feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with every day life. You may have difficulty accepting compliments, and feel you have not done well compared to others. Rather than feeling confident of what you have achieved and experienced in life you are more likely to be preoccupied with your flaws and weaknesses. You may describe yourself as suffering from terrible shyness. Because of this you feel a need for frequent, if not constant, reassurance. Low self esteem can result in you lacking the confidence to make changes in your life, as you feel that you are unlikely to succeed. Low self esteem leads to fear of failure – you may tell yourself that it is easier not to try, rather than risk the embarrassment of failing.
Low Self Esteem means you compare yourself harshly with others
If you suffer from low self esteem, have problems with confidence or suffer from shyness, you may compare yourself with others. Inevitably they will seem happier than you, as you are so preoccupied with worry, stress and anxiety. This comparison makes you feel even worse, and your confidence and self esteem drop further. Hypnosis can help you to break away from this self destructive pattern by enabling you to experience deep hypnotic relaxation and to switch off from the constant worry of comparing yourself with others, thinking that you need to lose weight or change your appearance, worrying about what you say, criticizing yourself, feeling anxiety about how you look and what you do.
Hypnosis helps you break free from Low Self Esteem
Whilst you are in hypnosis, specific suggestions will be made to help you easily recognise those negative thought patterns which currently affect you. You will be able to replace those thoughts with more positive ones. Hypnosis allows you to focus without distraction on the specific qualities and abilities which make you who you are and to value these. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis help you to break free of the pattern of negative thoughts about yourself, allowing you to improve confidence, build up your self image and give yourself the respect and approval you deserve. Hypnosis teaches you to value yourself, regardless of other people’s views or expectations. Hypnosis enables self development and helps you to build confidence. You will be taught self hypnosis, to enable you to reproduce the hypnotic state you experience in the sessions at any time you want. You can learn to stop going over conversations in your head, time and time again, after they have happened – hypnosis also teaches you to relax before social or work occasions, without feeling the need to plan conversations in advance or worry about what to say to people.
If you suffer from low self esteem you may feel unduly self-conscious, worrying that others are noticing everything you say or do, or don’t say or don’t do. You may find that you repeat to yourself conversations you have had, trying to remember whether you said, or didn’t say, a certain thing, and feeling embarrassed or anxious at what you remember. You may be very, very conscious of what you say and how you act, leaving you unable to act naturally or feel comfortable when spending time with others. This crippling shyness and lack of confidence in socal situations often leads to further stress and anxiety. Those who lack confidence and suffer from low self esteem are more likely to suffer from a variety of anxiety related conditions, such as insomnia, anger and irritability, relationship problems such as jealousy and insecurity, drug and alcohol abuse and even phobias – individuals who experience anxiety and stress are far more likely to develop a phobia than those people who are not anxious.
Anger and Irritability
If you have low self esteem and lack confidence it can be hard to say what you really think. This sometimes leads to expressing yourself in an inappropriate way – for example, by finding fault, being very negative, blaming others, losing your temper and being irritable. If you don’t say what you think when you think it, feelings are bottled up and can eventually come out in an aggressive or irritable way. This then leads to further self-doubt and worrying about what others think about how you’ve behaved. It’s a vicious circle. If this is a problem then assertiveness training and anger management can help. This enables you to build confidence about social situations.
Some people with confidence and self esteem issues are very critical of their own appearance. This can become a real obsession so that you are thinking about it all the time. It can lead to a preoccupation with food which itself can lead to binge eating or excessive dieting.
If you are preoccupied with your appearance, hypnosis will help you to focus on ALL of your qualities, not just how you look. Hypnosis allows you to think more realistically about relationships and what people actually find attractive; you will focus on the fact that people like other people as a package and be reminded that your looks are not the sole basis for attracting others. People really aren’t attracted for long by looks alone; it is other qualities which make long term relationships work. The way you behave is more important than the way you look. Hypnotherapy enables you to internalise these thoughts, until they become second nature to you.
Build Confidence with Hypnosis
If you suffer from low confidence or have self esteem issues, hypnotherapy and hypnosis offer various ways to help you. Whilst you are in hypnosis you will be encouraged to focus on what it is about you which are unique and special; what it is about you that you value. So much feedback we receive is negative – for the very obvious reason that people don’t feel they need to comment on something if it doesn’t need to be changed, and so the things we’re good at often seem to go unnoticed, as no-one says anything about them. People think that because you appear competent and capable at a certain thing that you can’t possibly need positive feedback! It is therefore an easy mistake to focus too much on the few things which we’d like to improve, rather than the vast majority which are perfectly OK as they are. Also, we tend to take for granted the things we do well, because they are the things which to us are naturally easy or which we have spent time learning and developing. We don’t pay as much attention as we should to our skills and achievements, as after a while they simply become such an integral part of us that we no longer notice that those things are in fact special. It is easy to forget that those things which seem easy for us may seem to others to be difficult, challenging and to require skill and focus. Hypnosis will help to remind you of just what you have achieved and why those things are valuable. You can also do these self esteem exercises to help boost your confidence.
Hypnosis in Stockport
The therapists at this Stockport hypnotherapy clinic are Manchester’s top independently rated therapists in anxiety, insomnia and phobia treatment. If you are looking for help in Stockport for stress and anxiety, claustrophobia, fear of flying, emotional problems such as jealousy and insecurity, panic attacks, or low self esteem, then go to any of the independent websites which list and give reviews of hypnotherapists (for example www.freeindex.co.uk – you can also see reviews on Google) and see what others say about us. If you would like further information about hypnosis in Stockport for insomnia, to stop smoking, self esteem and confidence, depression, for help with weight loss, to stop bad habits such as nail biting and teeth grinding, or for any other problem, please call 07779 575 816 for a free, confidential discussion.
Stockport Hypnotherapy – Hypnosis and counselling in Didsbury, Manchester – convenient for Chorlton, Gatley, Cheadle, Stockport, Altrincham, Hale, Denton, Droylsden and all areas of south and central Manchester (though we see clients from overseas, and from as far away as West Sussex, Glasgow, Sunderland, Hereford and Aberystwyth). Click here for further details of how to find us.