What is jealousy?
Jealousy and insecurity are emotional problems which respond really well to hypnotherapy. Jealousy describes the feeling you get when you believe an relationship is threatened. It involves a mix of thoughts, emotions and behaviours. It takes up a lot of your time. You find it difficult if not impossible to switch off from thinking about it.
You may blame your partner. Perhaps you feel that they’re bound to find someone else more attractive. You constantly compare yourself with others. You feel hurt, sad, and unworthy. Then you feel ashamed, embarrassed, and sorry for yourself. You may restrict your partner’s behaviour, always checking where they are or who they’re with. Or maybe you ask them question after question after question. Probably you start to argue more and more.
Or perhaps you feel so insecure that you always let your partner have their own way. This is because you’re worried about what will happen if you disagree with them. Your partner may be angry that you don’t seem to trust them. Or they may hide things from you (even though those things are totally innocent) so that you don’t become jealous. As if this weren’t enough, feeling like this for any length of time can lead to depression, stress and even more anxiety.
Jealousy and insecurity are types of anxiety
Both jealousy and insecurity are forms of anxiety. You fear losing the person you love, and you can’t stop thinking about this.
If you suffer with jealousy or insecurity, you constantly feel the need for reassurance. You believe that if only you could trust your partner more, you’d feel ok. But jealousy and insecurity aren’t really about trust, or the way your partner is behaving, although it may feel like that. Jealousy and insecurity come from your own lack of confidence and feelings of inadequacy. The constant need for reassurance makes you feel bad, and can also lead to confrontation and arguments, leaving you feeling even worse. Your confidence suffers another blow.
Overcome jealousy by building your self esteem
The real key to overcoming jealousy -and many other emotional problems – is to change the way you feel about yourself. Hypnotherapy will help you to build your confidence and self esteem. Underneath jealousy insecurity and envy are beliefs that perhaps you’re not good enough. Not attractive enough, interesting enough, clever enough – to keep your relationship going.
Added to this is the fear that if you break up, you’ll be left on your own. You feel you won’t find someone else. These thoughts are about the messages you give to yourself about your qualities and attractiveness. Hypnosis gives you a level of confidence which allows you to stop this negative thinking.
How hypnosis and hypnotherapy help you to overcome jealousy
Hypnosis allows you to switch off from the constant stream of negative thoughts going round your head. Whilst you are in hypnosis, you will be given specific suggestions about your confidence and self image. You’ll be given self esteem exercises to help you to focus on the positive things in your life. You’ll learn to focus on all the good things which makes you who you are.
The deep relaxation you experience in hypnosis allows you to regain your peace of mind. Learning to relax will improve your sleep. Many people with jealousy and other emotional problems also suffer from insomnia‘ Sleeping better means you’re in a better frame of mind,. You see things in perspective.
Reverse the vicious circle of insecurity
As you feel better, you begin to act in a more positive way. You feel less hurt and angry. This means that you feel calmer and more in control of your emotions. Your increasingly positive behaviour allows you to feel good about yourself and your achievements. This in turn makes you feel more positive.
In this way you can stop the vicious circle of feeling more and more negative, and instead feel more and more positive. You feel more comfortable in your own skin, leaving you more confident, more relaxed and better able to enjoy your relationships.
Jealousy and insecurity are a habit
Your mind is lazy. It doesn’t want to reinvent the wheel every morning. If it’s thought about things in a certain way before, it’s easier for it to carry on thinking that way. Jealousy and insecurity are basically a habit. Hypnosis is well known for its ability to stop bad habits. You’re bound to know someone who used hypnosis to stop (nail biting, to lose weight, or stop smoking.
Hypnosis for jealousy, insecurity and other emotional problems allows you to stop thinking in this unhelpful way. You can stop your irrational fear, assuming the worst, jumping to conclusions, and instead build your self respect and self confidence. You’ll be taught to stop letting your imagination run away with you.
Live in the moment
You will learn to live in the moment and to forget the “what ifs?’. You become more confident, able to try new experiences and meet new people. Because you are feeling positive and confident these things go well. So your confidence grows and grows. Confidence is a much more attractive trait than insecurity. When you are jealous and insecure, this affects the way others react to you, leading to a downward spiral. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis allows you to break this cycle.
What causes jealousy?
You may think that jealousy is caused by external factors. Perhaps you parents divorced when you were young. Or perhaps one of your parents was unfaithful, or maybe one of your exes cheated on you. But these things are in the past. Hypnotherapy helps you forget the past, and to live very much in the here and now. It allows you to get rid of preoccupations about things which happened before, or fears about what might happen in the future.
Just because something has happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again! No-one can foresee the future! Other people’s past behaviour doesn’t tell you anything about how your current partner will behave. However if you suffer with jealousy you probably draw conclusions about the present based on the past. This is faulty thinking.
Jealousy is caused by what we think about ourselves. Jealousy happens when you feel fearful. The fear can be about losing someone, being on your own, looking foolish, of not being good enough, of not measuring up. When you have poor self esteem; when you lack confidence; you jump to conclusions about our partner’s behaviour. Imagine you’re at a party with your other half. They are introduced to someone; they chat, smile and laugh. If you’re prone to jealousy you may make the assumption that this means they were flirting, that they are interested in someone else, and that ultimately you will lose them.
CBT for jealousy and insecurity? But chatting, smiling and laughing are perfectly normal everyday behaviours! The feeling of jealousy comes from inside you, not from the way your partner has behaved. It's caused by what you tell yourself about what their behaviour means. Cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy is a mix of hypnotherapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It will look at your thought patterns and help you understand them. It allows you to think more rationally and to get rid of the jealousy and anxiety you feel.
Helping your relationship
More often than not, jealousy is caused by the jealous person’s behaviour and not by their partner. However, sometimes a client comes for hypnotherapy and tells us that before this particular relationship they didn’t feel jealous. Sometimes it is clear that it’s not only your reaction to your partner’s behaviour that is unhelpful and destructive, but the partner’s behaviour, too.
It is important to look at the history of the relationship, and at patterns of past behaviour. We’ll look the relationship’s strengths and weaknesses, and at your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Then we’ll see if there are any practical steps which might improve your relationship. Hypnotherapy is not a “one size fits all” solution. Your individual circumstances are taken into consideration. Your story will be listened to and the most appropriate solution for YOU found.
Doesn’t feeling jealous just mean I must really be in love?
The short answer is no. Jealousy is not a rational response. Some people confuse jealousy with passion. They see jealous and insecure behaviour as a sign that their love is very strong. But there is no place for jealousy in a healthy relationship.
Of course, it’s a natural human emotion to not want to lose what is important to you. However when you can’t stop thinking about losing the person you love, jealousy places a huge strain on the relationship. It leaves your partner feeling as though they’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid you getting jealous. In turn you feel anger, self-blame, and further insecurity.
They then react badly, leaving you feeling justified about your fears for the future. It’s a vicious circle. In the worst case, jealousy and insecurity lead to the break up of the relationship. Jealousy is a destructive and completely negative emotion. Hypnosis helps you to overcome it.
Other types of jealousy and emotional problems
Jealousy isn’t just about romantic relationships. You can be jealous of your colleague’s promotion, or your friend’s new car. Or maybe it’s someone who can afford to buy a house, or whose house is bigger than yours. You may think a friend is more popular than you, or perhaps someone new has joined your social group and you feel left out.
Hypnosis allows you to focus away from the negative internal voice which makes you resentful and unhappy. It allows you to focus on your goals and to achieve what you want. Negative thinking, resentment and unhappiness stops you from focusing on positive steps needed to change things.
Find a Hypnotherapist in South Manchester
The therapists at this Stockport hypnotherapy clinic are the UK’s top independently rated hypnotherapists. They specialise in anxiety, insomnia and phobia treatment. If you are looking for hypnotherapists in south Manchester to help stress and anxiety, claustrophobia, or fear of flying, then please email email@example.com.
For emotional problems such as jealousy and insecurity, panic attacks, or low self esteem, then go to any of the independent websites which list and review hypnotherapists (for example www.freeindex.co.uk – you can also see reviews on Google). Don’t take our word for it – see what others say about us.
Hypnosis and hypnotherapy in Didsbury, Manchester. Convenient for Chorlton, Gatley, Cheadle, Stockport, Altrincham, Hale and all areas of south and central Manchester. Click here for further details ofhow to find us